Lost in Translation

I've been in China for two weeks, and I am noticing that the communication gap is beginning to feel much, much wider, and almost impossible to bridge. Simple things like ordering dinner and getting a taxi to take you to the right place are incredibly difficult. It's not that these things have gotten harder. It's that when I first arrived here, everything was an amusing adventure. I could laugh at myself and the situation, trusting that it would all work out well in the end. I'm starting to realize that I'm out of control here. I am surely doing my own thing, and I'm definitely deciding what I want to do and when (that will all change once the Olympics begin), but when it comes down to it, if a taxi driver takes me to the wrong campus (always a treat in the middle of the night) or to a construction site when we were intending to get to a bar (we forgot to add "Lu" to the end of San Li Tun), there's nothing much you can do about it if you don't know your surroundings well enough to give directions and don't speak the language in any understandable way.

This has all happened before. In France and Germany I began to feel very alien as I fumbled with words that had 1928396028 consonants and no vowels. But I could still guess at things. And I didn't look quite so foreign.

I stand out here. I'm tall. I'm blonde. I'm PALE. These are all things I knew about myself before I left the States, and I'm not even saying I'm bothered by it. It's just that when I'm feeling uncertain of where I am or what I'm doing, I simply can't hide in the crowd.

I may have eaten dog at a restaurant. It was supposed to be a hamburger. It wasn't.

I almost ate a scorpion on a stick, but it was still alive and squirming as I neared it so I ran in the opposite direction.

I consumed beef tongue.

I have mastered chopsticks and squat toilets.

I love it here. It's all so full of beauty and history and tradition and grace. I just wish I could meld into what this culture is (absolutely not out of dislike or hatred of my own. I love America and long for simple American things more than I ever thought possible), if for no other reason than to feel at home. It's all an adventure. I get it. I'm loving it, I just want a kitchen and fresh vegetables and a hot dog and meat I understand and a language I can speak and people who see me as more than just a tall, out of place foreigner. I feel mute and like a huge alien.

This has been a jumble of things. I apologize for the disarray. I'll keep you updated with my thoughts as they happen. Things are changing every day, but I'm still happy.